Man takes first class flight upgrade, gets surprised when mom is offended he didn't upgrade her too: 'Never crossed my mind to offer it'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jun 25, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Is it OK for family members travelling on the same plane to take different classes?

We all know that the regular old coach class flying experience is generally not that pleasant. The longer the flight, the more you are reminded that you are simply a fraction of a percentage in a number in an airline executive's head, and you get all the lack of comfort to prove it. The only way to make things better is to splash out on an upgrade.

Doing such a thing is usually pretty pricey, unless you have some credit card points or airline miles to cash in. As a result, it's unlikely that most people who travel by airplane are even going to experience getting the whole family into first class. It is an expense that many can only wish for.

When planning a trip or vacation with somebody, especially if they are a relative or partner, it seems like a no-brainer that you would want to be in the same part of the plane if possible. Actively making the choice to go against that and getting better treatment than them in the process is likely to be a recipe for resentment, no matter how much that wasn't intended.

 

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  • A representation of a man sitting in a first-class airplane seat, looking at his phone
    via Chase Chappell

    A representation of a man sitting in a first-class airplane seat, looking at his phone

  • A man and his mom were going to travel by plane together to visit his aunt, and they initially booked their seats together. However, due to recent stress, he decided to treat himself and upgrade to first class with air miles. He didn't upgrade his mom or tell her about the change.

    When the time came to fly, he could tell that his mom was disappointed with the choice that he had made. His guilt went from bad to worse when she mentioned it afterwards, and his aunt agreed with her. He still felt like he had deserved the upgrade, but wasn't sure if he was in the wrong somehow.

  • Am I wrong for not offering my seat upgrade to my mom on our flight?

    My mom and i booked flights together to visit my aunt in Phoenix. We booked at the same time, same card, seats right next to each other. I had some miles saved up from some trips last year and used them to upgrade myself to first class like a week before the flight, didn't really think twice about it, i'd been really stressed and just wanted the extra space.
    via Substantial_Air_370
  • Never crossed my mind to offer it to her or use the miles on her ticket instead. Fast forward to the airport, she sees me go to a different boarding line and kinda pieces it together. Didn't make a scene or anything but she got quiet in that specific way moms get quiet you know. I felt it.
    via Substantial_Air_370
  • The whole flight she's back in economy and i'm up front eating a warm cookie and i'll be real i felt a little guilty but i also paid for those miles through work travel so its not like it was free money, i earned that.
    via Substantial_Air_3170
  • When we landed she brought it up and said she wasn't mad just that she thought it was a little thoughtless that i didn't even consider offering it to her. My aunt actually sided with her which i did not see coming.
    via Substantial_Air_3170
  • My argument is that I booked it for myself with my own miles and it never occurred to me that i was obligated to offer it. Its not like I had two upgrades and picked myself over her. But maybe i'm missing something here idk. Was i just oblivious or does she have a point. AITA
    via Substantial_Air_3170
  • A woman wearing a hat, sitting in an airplane seat with her face turned to the window
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A woman wearing a hat, sitting in an airplane seat with her face turned to the window

  • Aware-Estate2244 Maybe you shouldn't have used the upgrade on a flight booked with your mother!
    via Aware-Estate2244
  • CatsMom4Ever YTA. And oblivious. You could have upgraded on a flight when you went alone.
    via CatsMom4Ever
  • Aromatic_Recipe1749 If this is real, OP, you are completely tone deaf, insensitive, inconsiderate and self centered. I have trouble believing that anyone would actually do this. You either wait until you're on a solo flight or upgrade BOTH seats, paying for one.
    via Aromatic_Recipe1749
  • queenie_sabrina YTA. I'm a mom to adult kids. If you travel together you expect to sit together unless there is some reason that you can't. As the mom, I will sit in the middle. I'll share my snacks. I'll lend my pillow. But if my kid straight up abandoned me for an upgraded seat I'd be hurt.
    via queenie_sabrina
  • VinylHighway I'd lean toward "mild YTA". Not because you owed her the seat, but because you seems to have completely overlooked how it would look and feel to the person you were traveling with. The mother's comment that it was "a little thoughtless" strikes me as pretty measured and probably accurate.
    via VinylHighway
  • GeminiAtl Typically speaking, if traveling with someone you either upgrade both or neither.
    via GeminiAtl
  • denstick YTA. Selfish and oblivious,. And let me guess, your single and often - not outloud- wonder why you're single.
    via denstick
  • mspe1960 YTA for not sitting with your mom on a trip you planned together, yes.
    via mspe1960
  • honorthecrones I would have been back there wondering what I had done to you off. It never occurred to you that she might want to talk to you during the flight since you were traveling together? You were certainly tone deaf and inconsiderate
    via honorthecrones
  • Adorable_water54 Oh yeah YTAH but only because you choose to do an upgrade while traveling with someone else. Someone that you should have wanted to sit by and talk to during the trip. I'd have been hurt and annoyed too.
    via Adorable_water54

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family drama flight mom entitled people
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